Dating Hijabers (Women who wear head scarfs.)

[waarmstrong]

remind me of this joke.
Problem in this world is that wise intelligent people are full of doubt while fools and fanatics are full of confidence.

...and often well armed.

[Felicity]

remind me of this joke.
Problem in this world is that wise intelligent people are full of doubt while fools and fanatics are full of confidence.

I remember that is only a joke

[ScooterIndo]

[COLOR=#333333]wrong. he is haram for you until he has reverted to islam. even then, he is still haram for you until you have done it in the right way, which is taaruf, and no dating.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]every moment you spent with him, is counted as zina, and is haram. that could lead to kufr, and maybe even finish your akhirat.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]no it doesnt matter how good or polite or nice or bla bla he is. has he said the kalimatul syahadat? until he says that, you are not allowed to have relationship and dating, you can only approach him to share knowledge, talk about knowledge, ilmu and religious matters. anything else is haram, especially once it gets up close and personal, and involves feelings and emotions.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]heck, even a muslim guy is still haram for you, let alone "dating" non muslim..[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]you really need to re-learn islam sister, because whatever you have done with that hijab on your head and muslim identity, will actually damage and hurt islam, to the extent that every muslim including the prophets will get their hak off you in the day of judgement, and the burning time for that can be an infinite amount of years. every second you spent with him, every second you were in love, every second you were lovey dovey with him, especially with that holy hijab on your head.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#333333]dont forget, you were actually doing zina, when you do zina, your iman leaves your body. if you die one day like that, you die as a kafir..[/COLOR][COLOR=#333333]learn islam properely, restart, dont do the same mistakes, teach others what you learnt and never ever disrespect that hijab![/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]on a side note, here in australia, i have had multiple numerous arguments with aussies, and even fights, because they went to indonesia and came back explaining their adventure stories with hijabi indonesian girls. may allah's laknat be upon those who disrespect their hijab and bring islam down and bring all the muslims down. please take it off, or respect it when you wear it.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]wassalam[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]kayihan from melbourne.[/COLOR]

Good job they don't allow stoning in Melbourne

[Donting101]

[COLOR=#333333]wrong. he is haram for you until he has reverted to islam. even then, he is still haram for you until you have done it in the right way, which is taaruf, and no dating.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]every moment you spent with him, is counted as zina, and is haram. that could lead to kufr, and maybe even finish your akhirat.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]no it doesnt matter how good or polite or nice or bla bla he is. has he said the kalimatul syahadat? until he says that, you are not allowed to have relationship and dating, you can only approach him to share knowledge, talk about knowledge, ilmu and religious matters. anything else is haram, especially once it gets up close and personal, and involves feelings and emotions.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]heck, even a muslim guy is still haram for you, let alone "dating" non muslim..[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]you really need to re-learn islam sister, because whatever you have done with that hijab on your head and muslim identity, will actually damage and hurt islam, to the extent that every muslim including the prophets will get their hak off you in the day of judgement, and the burning time for that can be an infinite amount of years. every second you spent with him, every second you were in love, every second you were lovey dovey with him, especially with that holy hijab on your head.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]dont forget, you were actually doing zina, when you do zina, your iman leaves your body. if you die one day like that, you die as a kafir..[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]learn islam properely, restart, dont do the same mistakes, teach others what you learnt and never ever disrespect that hijab![/COLOR]



[COLOR=#333333]on a side note, here in australia, i have had multiple numerous arguments with aussies, and even fights, because they went to indonesia and came back explaining their adventure stories with hijabi indonesian girls. may allah's laknat be upon those who disrespect their hijab and bring islam down and bring all the muslims down. please take it off, or respect it when you wear it.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]wassalam[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#333333]kayihan from melbourne.[/COLOR]

why don't you go and live in a temple up in the mountains where there is no internet connection, a place where you can talk to yourself all day long and cannot poison the world with your hatred of human nature. you'll be much happier up there I promise you.

[waarmstrong]

why don't you go and live in a temple up in the mountains where there is no internet connection, a place where you can talk to yourself all day long and cannot poison the world with your hatred of human nature. you'll be much happier up there I promise you.

What you really mean, Donting, is that most of the rest of us would be happier. Pardon my interpretation, if I am off the mark.

[ScooterIndo]

With the earlier post in question, isn't it ironic that yet again it's a man that's dictating what a woman should wear, how she should think, and what she should and shouldn't be doing. All wrapped up nicely in bullshit threats of hellfire and brimstone should she actually do what she wishes to do (i.e. use her brain and make her own choices). However what I find more worrisome is the fact that the OP lives in a multicultural country like Australia, yet still demonstrates an attitude more suited to Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan in going so far as to display such open contempt for non Muslims.

[BukanSiapaSiapa]

Good morning everyone I do hope you are all doing well. There has been a question that has been on my mind for a very long time. As we expats in Indonesia know a lot of Indonesian women like wearing Hijab (head scarfs not veils.) Women often wear this to cover their aurat (to keep modest) either because they are really into Islam, forced to my family pressure, or like to wear it as a fashion statement (if you think my statement is crazy look at the hijab ladies who go to places like Grand Indonesia or places of that nature.)

There are plenty of Hijabers who are very beautiful, smart, and ooze charisma. However trying to date them is nearly impossible even if you are a mualaf like myself (for the record I am not dating anyone, speaking from experience before I got married.) From the data I have gathered they prefer guys who are Muslim, but Muslim locals. However if you are Arab or Indian (vast majority of hijab ladies I know are huge into Indian music and men for reasons I cannot fathom.) They seem to be terrified or just simply not interested in other expats especially white guys.

Which is very sad, because like I sad there are lots of Hijabers who would make amazing wifes and girlfriends. This leads to a few questions.

1. For women in conservative Muslim families is it forbidden to date expat men? Even if the expat man is a mualaf (revert)?

2. I've noticed that the few hijaber women who do date expats tend to remove their hijab when going out with expat man. Is it due to pressure from the man, or is there a social stigma for Hijabers to date foreigners especially if they are not Muslim?

3. What would be the best way to approach and date women who are conservative of that nature?

4. Are there any pros or cons of dating women who are very strongly into Hijabing (new term just made up?)

Thank you for your time.

Not sure if it's still relevant to comment now but I see some comments are quite recent
Trying to answer from my own view (and experience) :

1. It's forbidden to "date" expat revert men, or men in general, but welcome to approach in Islamic manner. Meaning that when you have intention to have a relationship before marriage with a woman, you're allowed to ask for "ta'aruf" (read: ta-aroof). In the process of ta'aruf, both of man and woman can ask in detail about man/ woman details, family background, reputation, etc in respectable manner and honesty. In doing ta'aruf, both of man and woman should not spend time together only the two of them, but have to be accompanied by the parent/ family/ wali (guardian) . The man also can ask the trusted person who has a close relastionship to the woman to get reference and advices about the woman, and vice versa.

2. I think it's more from pressure from the man instead of social stigma, or it can be also by woman's own willing also. I can't really confirm which one exactly though. But I had experienced in approach with a man and he asked me to remove my hijab (and I didn't follow his rules and left him). And if it's by her own willing to remove, I think she needs to study and understand better what's her purpose in wearing hijab.

3. The best way to approach is show your intention genuinely and do ta'aruf (refer to #1), no dating. I know some "conservative" religious family want to marry their daughter with the other "conservative" and underestimate mualafs. But don't generalize. I think if you can show your genuine intention and act upon it, there's still ones who value that "It's not about how you start the race, but how you end it." I mean, a born or revert muslims don't really determine who are the better (in the eyes of Allah). I have a few revert friends and I have learned a lot from them that has made me deeply ponder and reflect as a born muslimah. Oh, and don't forget to keep making do'a

4. I am not sure if you meant the pros and cons from society or from hijaber as a person. But I think you meant it more from society? Dating itself is not allowed in Islam and I think it's already a cons? Hey, if I may share my view, focus on your attention and work for it, the pros and cons will always there and people will always comment either it's good or bad.

I found this is interesting topic, especially since I wear hijab and I read one or two comment want to hear from hijaber and I feel like being invited to reply. So, thanks!

And say hi (or salam) to all!

[vixalexa]

far as I know most women who wear the hijab would be very difficult to take a date..

[ScooterIndo]

1. It's forbidden to "date" expat revert men, or men in general,Dating itself is not allowed in Islam.

In my experience a few hundred million "Muslimahs" didn't get that email

[Anglian]

We were driving past the small park at block M,(the one with an elephant in) and two young couples were sitting on the grass chatting as young couples do,both girls had Jilbabs, and I thought how lucky they were as if in Ache, the could earn themselves a good thrashing, also when I was sitting having an Ice cream at Pondok Indah mall, again a young couple, girl with jilbab, young man English, probably not even a muslim, sat down for an ice cream, happy to say they actually seemed to be enjoying themselves, nobody seemed very interested in them, their are some very depressing people in this world when young couples cannot enjoy themselves, but live in fear of a good thrashing

[Abook looty]

I came across lots of Hijabers who were much more aggresive than girls with no Hijab, back then at Malaysia.....

[Happyman]

Seems like at it's root wearing a hijab must be either a sign of willingness to conform to societal pressures or being "serious" about religion. If either of those is the case, then I do wonder why a person from a different society and religion (or lack of religion) would be looking for a long-term relationship (I mean starting a nuclear family) with a hijaber. I know couples composed of one agnostic and one atheist (my own family for example) who argue about what is the correct way to bring up children (as regards religion). Why would you go looking for someone who is displaying their desire to conform a to society and religion other than to your own? Doesn't if forebode future societal/religious conflict in the relationship? Only way I could see that not happening would be if the male in our scenario were himself looking to move his social and religious moorings.

[brodee]

hmmm i was just reading about Turkey(because I have been watching ''antara Nur dan dia'' on TV) and until about 3 years ago the Hijab was banned in Turkey '99.8% muslim'

[john madden]

In my experience a few hundred million "Muslimahs" didn't get that email

You do get around, don't you Scooter!

[jstar]

Seems like at it's root wearing a hijab must be either a sign of willingness to conform to societal pressures or being "serious" about religion. If either of those is the case, then I do wonder why a person from a different society and religion (or lack of religion) would be looking for a long-term relationship (I mean starting a nuclear family) with a hijaber. I know couples composed of one agnostic and one atheist (my own family for example) who argue about what is the correct way to bring up children (as regards religion). Why would you go looking for someone who is displaying their desire to conform a to society and religion other than to your own? Doesn't if forebode future societal/religious conflict in the relationship? Only way I could see that not happening would be if the male in our scenario were himself looking to move his social and religious moorings.

Fetish, just like for uniforms? Forbidden fruit? Just curiosity? Some twisted idea about obedience? The need for 'my wife needs to be a nun in public but a whore in my bed'?

hmmm i was just reading about Turkey(because I have been watching ''antara Nur dan dia'' on TV) and until about 3 years ago the Hijab was banned in Turkey '99.8% muslim'

Yep, a couple of years ago in cities like Istanbul and Casablanca for instance, the reaction was; "those are peasants from the mountains". Look at the situation now.