Getting married in Bangkok, mixed marriage; nationality and religion...

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  • bad_azz
    Member
    • Feb 2011
    • 7175

    Getting married in Bangkok, mixed marriage; nationality and religion...

    I will be flying off to Bangkok in a few days time to get married.
    I have been asked if I would make a thread about what is involved, the pitfalls, the bureaucracy and just the experience in general.
    So here we go...
    I am a UK citizen of no particular religious persuasion- however I am betting that I will have to state something ... I was raised as a Christian in my early years so I am assuming that will be the easy option.
    I will be marrying an Indonesian man of Islamic faith.

    So far it has not been plain sailing because his documents were lost, so we have had to do the rounds getting a new KTP, birth certificate and passport.

    However, this process has taken less than a month- I'm still getting over the shock of that... I have not asked him, however I suspect that maybe some cash changed hands to expedite the process (better I don't know about this).
    We finally collected his passport on the 25th of July.

    We had to get some documents together to give to the Indonesian embassy in Bankok and I found the following information very useful http://www.gam-phuketlawyer.com/lega...r-indonesians/

    [SIZE=3]The documents that he needed are known as N1, N2, N3 and N4... obtainable from the kelurahan (don't ask me too many details about this- I left that part to him once I told him what was needed.
    There is also another document that he had to sign (not so sure exactly what it is- however ) I believe it to be a statement of being free to marry legitimately (these are essentials- get them done before you go to Thailand- it saves time money and heartache).
    [/SIZE]
    I as a UK citizen have to go to the embassy with my passport (and maybe my birth certificate) and a completed copy of a form that is downloadable from the UK embassy in Bangkok site.

    Why Bangkok?
    1;In essence there is no required residency pre wedding, however in actual practice the process with the Indonesian embassy in Bangkok is likely to take a minmum of 6 working days- apparently because we are of differing faiths. (3 days if same faith- however if that was the case I would probably not be going out of the country in the first place).
    2; It is cheaper for hotels than Singapore too.
    3; Neither of us have visited it before.

    So we have booked 2 full weeks there.

    I will add to this thread as the process unfolds - who knows , I could have got it all wrong and it could just end up being a holiday...
    One of the best pieces of advice I once got from a forum member... "expect nothing much, except that, if it can go wrong it will go wrong and that way you will not have the stress and disappointment".

    So- let's see if I come back from just a nice holiday or as a "Mrs Squirrel'.

    I want to thank all the forum members who have helped me out and supported me behind the scenes with my odd little questions and queries and PMs.


    For those who have commented privately to me about why I am doing it all so speedily... well-
    Indonesia is not a country that accepts people cohabiting readily,
    we want to continue living together with little hassle- we are already breaking rules by "living in sin"- luckily the Pak Rt is a cool guy and has not been anal about it.
    My SosBud expires on the 19th of August (lebaran) and transport and travel at this time is not the easiest nor cheapest thing so have tweaked the dates accordingly.

    But most importantly we are happy together and love each other's company- we laugh a lot- so why the hell not do it!?.


    total cost so far... well lets say that there is a budget of 20juta IR for the whole thing- plus spending/shopping money in Bangkok

    The flights were 5.7 juta (most definitely cheaper at other times of the year)
    I had to extend the stay due to 2 days public holiday - so had to change the flights... 800,000IR

    The hotel cost approximately £390 (pounds sterling) for 10 nights - that is for a suite in a 4 star hotel.
    I got a 55% discount on the hotel.
    (it pays to shop around)

    Cost of new passport for the hubby to be 250,000IR
    This is where it gets a bit sketchy... cost of replacement KTP and birth certificate for hubby to be...not sure- but less than 1juta IR.
    Cost to Indonesian embassy will be $20 US
    Cost at UK embassy will be £65 pounds sterling
    Transport to and from the airport, private driver and car... expensive but 1.5 juta (Bluebird group quoted 875,000 each way plus tolls and parking)
    The cost of a prenup= 1.1jutaIR including 2 notarised copies... this was drawn up and signed in the same day- we had some interesting quotes re price and length of processing time for this... from 900,000IR to 25juta IT from 2 hours to 2 months.
    I just went for the convenience of the one who did it while we waited, it took 2 hours.

    So far it has cost in the region of £1000 sterling.
    So I think I am on or below budget... I will be leaving some emergency cash with my assistant who will be staying in my house while I am away and he will be caring for my dog.
    Failing that the kennel fees were 100,000 a night- I am a softy with the pup and do not want him in kennels - but the expensive one has a swimming pool and garden for the dogs... the other place I saw just had a small rusty cage and the animal will not get let out of it except when (if) they clean it out - that place was asking 40,000 per night.
    Ok... I will update later when I have more information.
    Last edited by bad_azz; 22-12-12, 15:17.
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  • Hombre de Maiz
    Banned
    • Aug 2009
    • 9254

    #2
    Et tu, Bad_Azz?

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    • bad_azz
      Member
      • Feb 2011
      • 7175

      #3
      "and me" what hombre?
      Cicak Magnet

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      • vanuatu
        Member
        • Mar 2009
        • 465

        #4
        Congratz and welcome to the club

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        • K&M
          Lord of the Manner
          • Aug 2008
          • 1965

          #5
          Take your birth certificate if you have it, but the British Embassy never asked for mine when I married Mika my Japanese wife in Bangkok

          Soi Rangnam ( Tida issan restaraunt ) if you like spicey NE region food ( nowadays only a couple of Issan food places still there )
          Tapas Cafe on Soi 11 for Spanish Tapas
          Soi 14 ( Suda ) corner restaraunt for a big variety of Thai food, and really cold beer

          Enjoy and try to relax.

          You will need two witnesses for the marriage certificate ( suggest that you get a translation done in Bangkok just in case you need in the future )
          [FONT=Verdana]As a stranger give it welcome.
          There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
          Than are dreamt of in your philosophy
          [/FONT]

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          • Mas Rob
            Member
            • May 2010
            • 442

            #6
            Selamat menempuh hidup baru, BA
            Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
            [COLOR=#000000]
            [/COLOR]

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            • bad_azz
              Member
              • Feb 2011
              • 7175

              #7
              Thanks guys,
              welcome back mas rob.
              i hope you are well.
              K&m... I noticed that they do not ask for it- I have learnt my lessons in the life of hard knocks so I tend to go with more rather than less- I now have a book file full of originals and copies in triplicate and a further set of copies will be left here in Java.


              I did eventually cave in and employ someone to assist over there in Bangkok- purely and simply it is because I am getting married - I am visiting a place I never went to before and I do not want to spend the whole time doing the embassy and translation rounds- the guy I have set on will do all the things for us that he can do without us being present, including translations and is charging only £28 pounds sterling plus the embassy fees
              << < scrub that part- I ended up doing most of it myself- i just got free advice from this guy... before I left, because he told me that he wanted £280 sterling for helping us once we arrived.
              Last edited by bad_azz; 22-12-12, 15:21.
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              • bad_azz
                Member
                • Feb 2011
                • 7175

                #8
                As for witnesses... anyone in Bangkok next week?
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                • kingwilly
                  Banned
                  • Jul 2008
                  • 8038

                  #9
                  Originally posted by bad_azz View Post
                  As for witnesses... anyone in Bangkok next week?
                  Miss you by about two weeks, I think.

                  Originally posted by K&M View Post
                  Tapas Cafe on Soi 11 for Spanish Tapas
                  Soi 14 ( Suda ) corner restaraunt for a big variety of Thai food, and really cold beer
                  good advice, could I add to that it is Sukhumvit Road, Soi 14 and SUkhumvit Road Soi 11 (because every single road has Soi's and she doesnt want to end up in Silom Soi 4 looking for dinner. (but some great gay gogo bars there.....

                  Cheap Charlies in Suk, Soi 11 is also a great pre dinner drinks place.

                  Comment

                  • Felicity
                    Member
                    • Jan 2012
                    • 332

                    #10
                    Originally posted by bad_azz View Post
                    But most importantly we are happy together and love each other's company- we laugh a lot- so why the hell not do it!?.
                    congratulation ya

                    Comment

                    • kingwilly
                      Banned
                      • Jul 2008
                      • 8038

                      #11
                      Celebration dinner at Sirrocos - 5 star dining resto, open air, 63rd floor overlooking the river and city. go there for sunset drinks. (pricey and strict dress code, but worth it for a special occasion)

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                      • Annette
                        Member
                        • Nov 2011
                        • 735

                        #12
                        Good luck Bad azz
                        Sit long, talk much, laugh often.....

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                        • bad_azz
                          Member
                          • Feb 2011
                          • 7175

                          #13
                          @willy, shame about the clash of travel plans... bugger!


                          Thank you all for the good wishes
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                          • Puspawarna
                            Banned
                            • Dec 2008
                            • 10539

                            #14
                            Congrats, BA ... we will all be waiting to hear how the trip went!

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                            • bad_azz
                              Member
                              • Feb 2011
                              • 7175

                              #15
                              Update from Bangkok...
                              arrived safe and sound, lesson number 1 learned, do not exchange Indonesian Rupiahs at the airport... ridiculous rates.
                              Arrived at hotel all good - except no wi-fi in room (not as advertised).
                              UK embassy (on Wireless road), a total breeze, be prepared for a bag search before entry and be prepared to have to leave electronic items at the main gate- handphones, cameras, laptops etc.
                              Go to the consular section and press the screen on the information point, it generates a ticket number, wait for your number to be called...
                              Hand in the form and show passport wait of 30 minutes then go to next window , sign form and they sign and stamp it- cost = £65
                              All nice and simple walk away with official document.

                              Then go to Indonesian embassy... press bell on gate then enter, no security measures and no organised system of waiting- first come first served.
                              However - here is where our problems started... the information we had states that parental permission not necessary for over 20yr old. Hahahaha ok- my informant was very much mistaken.

                              So we had to contact Bandung and get this permission letter signed by parents and stamped officially - I think by the RT.
                              The embassy told us that an email of this document would be acceptable...so, next dat we return with the copy of the document.
                              Nope - now a copy is no good- they now want the original... sigh.
                              However they did say that they will begin processing the papers and that it will be ok if we show the document when we go to collect.
                              The process cost =$20 US
                              So currently sat waiting for an express overnight TNT delivery to my hotel.
                              Tomorrow is a national holiday here in Thailand... so if the document arrives we take it in on Friday.

                              Should all go to plan on Friday - we collect the papers and then get translations in to Thai of my papers and of his, then we take them to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. This process takes a few hours apparently...
                              It is entirely possible that I will be married on Monday or Tuesday... Then its back to the Indonesian Embassy to register the marriage with them. My informant told me it would take a few days to do this... however the man at the embassy (consular desk) told me "no, it is only 1 day".
                              Will cross that bridge when we come to it.

                              On top of all of this my intended is very unwell.
                              When I asked for the doctor- no one on duty in the hotel understood the word "doctor" - whaaaaat???!!!! This is not a tiny back street B&B its a huge spa hotel with I think almost a 1000 rooms.

                              So - once my package arrives I am off out to find a pharmacy.

                              Despite all of the above... I love Bangkok.
                              I love zooming around the city in the Tuk-Tuks and it reminds me of an old old James Bond film.
                              Catch up soon
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